When You Know You’re Done


First off, hey – yeah, I know I haven’t been on here in a damn long time. That magical combination of life, a new job, and various other things have taken my attention away from this more personal bit of blogging. But hopefully with 2018 here, I can get back into the swing of things. And speaking of those New Years sort of changes – lets talk about fashion!

If you’ve known me for any long stretch of time, you probably know that for the last 12 or so years, my life has pretty much been dedicated to one particular hobby – Lolita Fashion. From the delicate lace, Historical and Fairy Tale references, and touches of pop culture elements – Lolita (for a while) really had it all for me. There was something both so unique and classic, that I couldn’t really imagine my life without it. Yet as the years went on, I asked myself “How much longer would I really want to be a part of this?” and up until recently, I never had the answer.

It is also important to note that around the same time that I was discovering of my own fashion identity, I realized that deep down I had a secret, somewhat unspoken love for a few forgotten eras of fashion – specifically that of the late 40’s and entirety of the 50’s. The long swing skirts, poodle and music motifs, the ultra feminine and girlish details, plus add in a dash of Rockabilly, and you then have my visual dream come true.

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Style icons

Yet when Lolita Fashion took over my mind and free time, my focus on anything retro took a backseat. I was devoted to becoming an IRL princess, with pastels pouring out of every fiber of my being – but deep down, as much as I loved it, something never felt right. Maybe it was the loud, borderline costume look that the fashion was taking as the years went by, the truly disturbing drama coming from multiple angles of the community, or the overpriced clothes that usually came in one size – but Lolita just wasn’t working its charms on me anymore.

The beauty I once felt in it eventually gave way to a competitive negativity – one that I couldn’t seem to get out of. And as much as plus size and non-typical “Lolita approved” individuals were coming out of the “enchanted forests” of the internet by making their names known, I still didn’t feel I was really ever part of the pack. The authentic looks that once sparked my imagination seemed more a shade of the past, my boobs continued to be smushed, and nothing seemed right – my Lolita Fashion bubble was finally bursting.

Fashion Bubble Goes Pop

Thankfully, the internet somehow gave me a sign – the two different groups of forms. First came my friend Savannah Alexandra, an incredibly talented artist, who also made the jump from Lolita Fashion to the retro world. Her beauty, spunk, and individuality is so inspiring, I can’t stop staring at her utter perfection – and did I happen to mention she makes the cutest images you’ve ever seen?!


My next path lead me to even more wonderful discoveries. I stumbled upon a few specific social media darlings that jolted my noggin in ways it hadn’t felt in years – this was what I wanted to look like. A girl who fully embraces her body, every nook and cranny, and doesn’t feel ashamed to not fit into a certain batch of guidelines – prints, pastels, nerddom, creepy spooks and all!

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One of these ladies would be Micheline Pitt, owner of the brands Vixen and La Femme Noir. From her excellent styling skills, to her amazing tattoos, Micheline is a lady that is hard to forget. But what I love most about this gal is her brand’s inspiration, along with her dedication to horror films and special effects make up. And it doesn’t hurt that we share a love for Guillermo Del Toro, and that just sealed the deal on my admiration for her.


Next up would be the stylish ladies of Scarlet Rage Vintage. The owner of the store/YouTube channel is a girl named Jade Stavri, and somehow she became the Pokemon Master equivalent of collecting the coolest and most fashionable friends to compliment her and her store. Among the girls featured on the channel, Jade and GreyHoundVintage are the ones I love seeing the most, due to their quirky and loud personalities. But everyone on the channel has something to offer, and the lessons I’ve learned from these beauties never lose their importance!


There’s tons of other lovely sources of inspiration for me too – from A Vintage Vanity, Pixielocks and How To Be Fancy on YouTube, to TeamSparkle and her Dream Girl Gang, along with Pin Up Companion, they all provide a bit of pixie dust for how I want to express myself through fashion, while not feeling like I have to stick to the somewhat conforming nature that Lolita Fashion was becoming for me.

Since making the dramatic shift to this dedication towards a more vintage sort of dress, I have never felt more confident and beautiful in my entire life. Yes, Lolita Fashion gave me that spark of excitement, but nothing feels more empowering than wearing a dress that represents every angle of you and your personality, along with your love of quirky pop culture nonsense (among other things.) The colors, petticoats, and shape from Lolita are all there, but the embracing of myself (inside and out) is the best part of it all.

Now of course, this is my own personal style journey, and this should be in no way a “tsk tsk” to those who still love Lolita Style. It has a cult following for a reason, and has continued to have incredible love for it because it stands out and is visually pleasing to those who discover it. But for this fashionable gal, it just doesn’t speak to my personal self anymore. It gave me the tools to find my inner strength – but now that I’ve got my “coordinated” wings to prove it, I’m ready to take the leap – and be me, 100%.









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